Myself
by A-Z123
Summary: Death is the worst punishment for the living...when you caused it it's even worst.


Myself

* * *

I sat silently, waiting for the rain to begin so that I could pass off the tears that threated to overwhelm me.

_It's her birthday today...She's 24 today...4 years already..._

"My God!" I suprised myself that I was able to form words as the tears coursed down my face. I said what I always say, "I-I'm so sorry!"

* * *

A lone boy, clothed in white, sat crying on one of the 10 steps that led up to the orphanage. It was raining, pouring really but did not notice nor did he know or care that it was an hour passed midnight. A single phrase penatred the cold air of the October night: _'I'm sorry' _on repeat like a broken record.

Behind him, the door opened revealing a man holding a black umbrela. He spoke, "Nate, please come inside. You catch cold out here in this rain."

"NO! I WANT TO SIT HERE! I WANT TO SIT HERE UNTILL I DIE!" Near sceamed in anguish. Tears streaming down his face mingling with the rain that fell form above. The man by the name of Roger sat gingerly next to him on the soking stone stair.

"Nate, it's been 4 years. You can't keep blaming yourself. There was nothing you could have done." He spoke softly so to not upset him any more.

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT! I'M RESPONSILBE! I'M THE REASON SHE'S DEAD AND YOU SAY THAT I CAN'T BLAME MYSELF? IT WAS MY FAULT!" Roger puled the shaking figure onto his lap, slowly stroking his soping white hair. The boy clung to him as he were the only thing keeping him alive, which was true.

In the past four year, the now 10 year old Nate had attemped suicide 13 times and had the scars to prove it. He had tried many a different ways but they had all the same ending: Roger interrupting and putting a stop to it. To Nate's everlasting relive Roger had never told anyone about his attemps.

"Nate, we will go in the morning, but please, come inside and sleep." Roger pleaded with the child.

"...Ok..." he abruptly stood and walked inside the building which he called home. Sighing with relive Roger soon followed.

* * *

Early the next morning, Nate rose, not having slept at all. Roger who had been perpared for an early rise, was already in the waiting car. Nate enter silently and stared, with a blank gaze out the tinted window of the black car. They soon arived at the graveyard. As dead quiet as Nate himself. But the moment he was out of the car he broke out into a run. All the way at the back of the yard was a flower covered grave, well tended and polished. Nate fell to his knees apon reaching it breathing hard and crying once again. The grave read:

**Happen Jay Fate**

**1982-1996**

**'A River Crys Not For, Himself But For Thoughs He Loves'**

**'My Sweet'**

"I"M SORRY THAT I KILLED YOU!"

* * *

_"You want me to tutor...a genius?" The girl said raising one eyebrow to show what she though of the idea._

_"You stupid girl he is not a genius he is an idiodic child that doesn't like to listen! Children are sopposed to but cute and adorable. This is but a pile of snow left trying to hide as a child." The mother said puling the child from the car and shoving him in an ungracefuy way at the 18 year old girl who stood motionless. Horrified that she had said that about the child while he was there(and even at all). " Well take him for gods sake I don't have all day!" The girl took the shaking boy inside her home still in shock. As she heard the car pull away she pulled the boy into her arms and cried._

_"Why are you crying? The 6 year old boy asked. _

_"Why am I crying? Why** aren't **you!" She said between gasps._

_" I've grown use to it," he said in dismay._

_"What? The Bitch! She's never getting you back as far as I'm consered!"_

"That was the happiest day of my life," Nate said to no onw in perticular," she cared for me like a mother...a good mother. She let me do whatever I wanted. She laughed and sang and cried with me. Me, the freak. But all good thing have to come to an end..."

_"GIVE ME MY SON YOU URCHINE!" Were the words that exited her ugly mouth._

_" NO! YOUR UNGRATEFULL AND HATE FILLED AND ABUSIVE! YOU DON'T DISERVE HIM!" Nate was hiding crying quietly as his mother once again tried to take him from his happiness. She was coming more and more often now a days._

_"How DARE you say that to-" She was cut off by the door as it was shut in her face. Happen cooed for Nate," Here sweety, come here, we're going out!" He had been happy at the time he aolmost nerver went out, Happen didn't really like people._

_They had been driving for what seemed forever. The whole time Nate had asked where they were going as he clung to the siut case he had been told to bring. Every time she had said in her cheerful tone," You'll see!" And he did see lumming like the sun on the horizen: a large brown building. It was HUGE, huge and beautiful. There were at least a hunder gardens filled with a multitued of flowers, and there was a sign:_

**Wammy's House: Orphanage For Genius Children**

_He had been scared. Was Happen giving him up? Had she grown tired of him did she hate him? And then he noticed the car. The cherry red car that he'd seen the last time he looked out the window as his mother drove away. She'd followed them. He'd paniced then. Nate had noticed that Happen did not know she was being followed. It' happend fast after that._

_They got out of the car and she hugged him. She began to speak," Nate, you have to know that I'll come to see you a lot, that I just want to protect you and that I lo-" She'd been cut off as a large bang pierced the air. Nate chothes, white as snow began to stain. Stain with the blood of the one person he loved eye's had widened like moons as he held her. Happen. He looked up to see a women clad in red, Red like her car , red like the blood that flowed from Happend's body onto Nate._

_" She doesn't think I deserve you? Well now she can't have you either. She you kill every one you monster. My husband my daughter and now you beloved 'mummy'." She laughed, she laughed at the tears that once again poured down his face like rain. But then, voices._

_"Hey what's going on out here!" Yelled a younger Roger. He saw it all in a flash. but Nate heard nor saw no more. He clapsed to the ground, and cried as he held the body of the only mother he'd had as the blood poured from here the tears poured from Nate's eye's._

_" ...D...don...'t... cr...y...m...y s..weet..." Nate cried more as she saud here last words. But he was puled away form her by small hand as a blond boy held him as he too cried with the blood covered boy._

"She got away...you know...but she had done what she had wanted...to make my life a living hell..."

_**I'm sorry that I killed you.** _

* * *

So...what do you think? Review please. OH and tell me if it should be a one shot or should I write more?

This is what I do when I'm bored.


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